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Paltrow's vagina

Australian Punk Band Releases Vinyl That Smells Like Paltrow’s Vagina

Posted on June 2, 2025June 2, 2025 by Strange Days

Want a scratch-and-sniff record that smells like Gwyneth Paltrow’s vagina?

Australian punk band Private Function has unveiled a new vinyl pressing of their latest album, which features a scented variant designed to mimic the fragrance used in Gwyneth Paltrow’s famously marketed “This Smells Like My Vagina” candle from her lifestyle brand, Goop.

The limited edition record, humorously dubbed the “Goopy” variant, offers fans a novelty experience by combining music with a scent inspired by Paltrow’s vagina. The band stated that the idea originated after they attempted to purchase the original Goop candle but were unable to due to high demand and soaring resale prices.

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A post shared by PRIVATE FUNCTION (@privatefunction69)

Guitarist Lauren Hester explained in a statement that the candles, which now sell for over $700, were viewed as an exclusive luxury. “$700 USD to smell Gwyneth Paltrow’s vagina is, quite frankly, classist,” Hester said. “We at Private Function think that every working-class person deserves access to that smell 24 hours a day.”

This isn’t the band’s first unconventional release. Their previous album, titled 370HSSV 0773H, included a limited run of records pressed with the band members’ urine. With the “Goopy” variant, Private Function continues to challenge norms—bringing Paltrow’s vagina, or at least the scent associated with it, to turntables at a far more accessible price. Don’t sniff the B side!

Not a punk fan but still want to smell Paltrow’s vagina? You’re in luck!

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Want to see Private Function live this summer? Here are some tour dates.

05/31 Canberra, ACT @ Gang Gang Bar & Café
06/01 Beechworth, VIC @ Tanswells Hotel
06/07 Sydney, NSW @ Crowbar
06/08 Wollongong, NSW @ La La Las
06/13 Adelaide, SA @ UniBar
06/14 Perth, WA @ Milk Bar
06/20 Brisbane, QLD @ Brightside
06/21 Gold Coast, QLD @ Vinnies
06/27 Melbourne, VIC @ Max Watts
06/28 Hunter Valley, NSW @ Thrashville Festival

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